Workplace Bullying

Person centred inhumanity to man and nature seems to be infinite. A classic example of which is workplace bullying. Workplace bullying can occur across all levels of an organisation. It is neither welcome nor solicited and it is also often an escalating process rather than a single event.[i] If left unchecked lack of respect, lack of professionalism and toxicity can permeate the organisation. The environment can become unhealthy, hostile and unproductive. The target can experience a range of often confusing emotions with amplified levels of powerlessness, low frustration tolerance, depression and anxiety coupled with physiological responses[ii]. If the bullying is not addressed or not adequately addressed, the target and/or any impacted bystander may simply leave the organisation. Unfortunately, however, the effects of the bullying often don’t end there.

What is Workplace Bullying?

The research refers to bullying in the workplace as:

• Psychological Terrorism;

• Workplace Incivility - “low intensity deviant behaviour characterized by ambiguous intent. Incivility includes rude and discourteous behaviour, acting with disregard for others in the workplace, and being in violation of workplace norms for respect”[iii];

• Victimisation;

• Mobbing – “a social interaction through which one individual (seldom more) is attacked by one or more (seldom more than four) individuals almost on a daily basis for periods of many months, bringing the person into an almost helpless position with high risk of expulsion”[iv]; or

• Relational Aggression – This can occur anywhere, not just the workplace. It is a form of emotional abuse that is designed to attack one’s relationships with others and interfere with how we are perceived. It can culminate in reducing the target’s sense of self-worth, social standing and access to personal and professional opportunities triggering a downward spiral recovery from which may be difficult.

Who is a Relational Aggressor?

Research indicates that whilst males can be the target as well as the perpetrator of relational aggression, it is often perpetrated by women[v]. And, because bullying can occur across the lifespan, “mean girls grow up to be mean women”[vi].

A relational aggressor might present as charismatic. They are often popular amongst their peers and wield sufficient power to intimidate or impact how others feel[vii]. At the heart of it, they may be insecure and behave so reprehensibly in an effort to improve how they feel about themselves.

What Does Relational Aggression look Like?

Whilst relational aggression can be overt, it is more often subtle and covert. It is often in plain view of bystanders who might not be aware of what is going on. It can take many forms and includes weaponizing friendship, gossiping, spreading rumours, backstabbing, manipulation, sabotage (e.g., preventing the target from getting a promotion, networking opportunity or new job), placing people in Coventry (i.e., silent treatment) and avoiding eye contact[viii]. Distress is inflicted verbally, by exclusion and by isolating the target from friends and others.

For the purposes of this blog post, the term “Workplace Bullying” will be used and it denotes bullying that happens at work when:

• a person or group of people repeatedly behave unreasonably towards another worker or group of workers; and

• the behaviour creates a risk to health and safety[ix] - in that, it may affect the physical and psychological wellbeing of workers[x].

Note: If the behaviour involves violence, for example physical assault or the threat of physical assault, it should be reported to the police.

However, regardless of the terminology used, Colorosso (2006) noted that bullying will always include three elements:

“Imbalance of power…
Intent to harm…
Threat of further aggression.”[xi]

Examples of Workplace Bullying

Workplace Bullying can include but is not limited to:

• ridicule 

• gossip

• spreading rumours

• playing practical jokes

• teasing

• excluding someone from work related events

• abusive or offensive language or comments

• gaslighting

• criticism or complaints that aren’t justified

• property destruction

• theft

• intimidating behaviour

• behaving aggressively towards others

• pressuring someone
  to behave inappropriately

• unreasonable work demands

• changing work arrangements,
  such as rosters and leave,
  to deliberately inconvenience
  a particular worker or workers

• humiliating or belittling
  comments

• withholding information
  or product needed
  for work

Targets

The research noted that neither professional standing nor academic degrees will provide immunity from workplace bullying.[xii]

A target can be “self-assured, skilled, bright, independent, cooperative, ethical, just and kind.”[xiii] They may have a history of integrity, productivity and commitment in the workplace. They may be all these things and still be blindsided by the workplace bully.

Targets might experience shame which can be fuelled by self-judgement, secrecy and silence[xiv]. They may experience embarrassment over experiencing bullying and they report often feeling disenfranchised and without language to clearly communicate their experience because of the often ambiguous or subtle nature of the bullying.[xv] A common refrain from research participants being, that “unless you live it; you don’t understand it.”[xvi]

The negative affect generated in the target by the bully is a factor in how bullies control their victims.[xvii] Workplace Bullying can be a completely surreal and destabilising experience often to the point where the target comes to believe that they are actually at fault particularly where the workplace bully is viewed as supported by the organisation and the surrounding social network.

Bystanders

The negative impact of Workplace Bullying can extend beyond the target and the perpetrator to the bystander.

Bullies are said to like an audience “and may be motivated by passivity amongst witnesses.”[xviii]

Some bystanders might find the bullying entertaining whilst others might experience anger, embarrassment or distress because of associated guilt around not intervening.[xix] Unfortunately, their lack of intervention and relational distance from the target contributes not only to the target’s isolation but also to the power of the workplace bully.

There might also be a self-preservation component in not acting. The bystander might fear becoming the next target and thus stays silent and/or does not intervene. [xx] Research indicates that in taking this stance, they draw lasting conclusions about “power, authority, empathy, injustice, social responsibility, and courage or the lack thereof.”[xxi] To paraphrase a quote attributed to Edmund Burke, all that is required for evil to flourish, is for good people to do nothing.

Bullies

Arguably, bullies are made. Research suggests that at some point in their development they have been bullied and thus repeat the cycle of behaviour across their lifespan unless they develop better character skills.[xxii] Developing better character skills however requires insight, a willingness to change and subsequently acting with intention to embody chosen values. Reform requires effort and agency.

Bullies are typically characterised as aggressive, pathological narcissists who are seen as domineering and controlling and/or manipulative in their interpersonal relationships.[xxiii] The latter embody an evident power differential permeated with exploitative behaviour and lack of empathy.[xxiv]

Recent research has shown that the power differential and methods of control employed by workplace bullies parallels those of intimate partner violence (i.e., Domestic Violence).[xxv] And, that it is the abuse of power that is the primary mechanism of control in Workplace Bullying.[xxvi]

The Impact of Workplace Bullying on the Target

There are many impacts some of which include:

• hypervigilance

• anxiety

• depression

• vulnerability

• shame

• helplessness

• reduced self-esteem

• difficulty emotionally regulating

• reduced power

• loss of trust

• adoption of passive/avoidant approaches

• lack of voice

• lack of safety

• Fear/intimidation

• Unhealthy and unhelpful coping responses    

• Ruminations – these can continue for years to come
  and can include concern about potential future
  Workplace Bullying at any other organisation.

• Isolation – The more isolated a target is and
  if the Workplace Bullying occurs
  outside of the view of bystanders,
  the greater the risk of ongoing workplace
  bullying.[xxvii] The greater the
  relational distance between the target
  and others, the greater the lack of
  connection and friendship and
  the higher the isolation and the greater the
  sense that they don’t matter.[xxviii]

• Internalisation – “how a [target] internalises
  and perceives the continuous harmful
  actions of the [workplace bully]
  can contribute to a change in
  self-identity.”[xxix]

    Some Factors Contributing to Workplace Bullying

The following are not exhaustive:

• Inadequate Screening of Employees – Brian Klass notes in “Corruptible” that “when you recruit into positions of power, it’s not just about who gets the job and who doesn’t. It’s also about who applies in the first place.”[xxx] Some powerful occupations, like law enforcement for example, might be extremely attractive to people with abusive tendencies, as the role itself may provide ample opportunity for them “to get away with abusing others. Who do you call if your abuser is the police?”[xxxi] The challenge then for the relevant organisation is to develop appropriate screening processes as part of the recruitment, retention and promotion processes to screen out people attracted to power for all the wrong reasons and retain those “who may not seek power but would wield it effectively.”[xxxii]

• Failure to Address or Adequately Address Workplace Bullying – organisations that do this tend to normalise it.

• Lauding of Tacit or Overt Workplace Bullying – This type of behaviour can include “how people communicate, the language used, who participates, and the negotiated concepts of civility, politeness and respect.”[xxxiii] Workplace Bullying is accepted where it is witnessed and there is no objection or intervention. When this occurs, the power of the workplace bully is reinforced to both the bystanders and the target. The cultural norm is perpetuated and maintained via repetition and compliance. However, it is important to note that an unhealthy culture does not constitute a corporate asset.

• Understaffing and High Workloads – This can increase “emotional tensions among difficult staff and autocratic superiors, as well as power imbalances in a top-down, bottom line management style.” [xxxiv] – particularly if managerial skills are lacking.

• Cliques – they may marginalise those perceived as different.[xxxv]

• Favouritism

• How Workplace Bullying is Addressed – Traditionally a conflict resolution approach has been recommended as Workplace Bullying “is viewed as a continuum of interpersonal relationship failures, where conflict has escalated into negative behaviours.”[xxxvi] This approach views the parties as contributing to the situation and they are tasked with resolving the issue. Not only does this not work,[xxxvii] but this can increase the target’s stress and isolation as they are now tasked with solving an issue they didn’t create and the workplace bully may have no interest in addressing.

This approach also neglects other contributing factors such as “organisational structure, environment and context.”[xxxviii] It also fails to recognise that most “aggressions in the workplace occur more than once, and [that] often one individual becomes the target of ongoing abuse.”[xxxix] And, that at the heart of that abuse is the workplace bully’s desire for power and control.[xl]

Helpful Strategies for the Target and Bystander

The following examples of things that one can do are not exhaustive:

1. Avoid self-pity – It is a waste of your time and energy. It’s self-destructive, can engender other negative emotions and may be self-fulfilling but more importantly it causes you to filter out what is good in your life.[xli]

2. Shift Your Focus and Attention to What is Within Your Control - This is a more productive use of your energy and should go a long way to ameliorating any sense of helplessness. You can control your mindset, your attitude and how you elect to respond.

3. Three key Responses – When we are going through something difficult or challenging there are usually three key responses:

• We can stay in the situation and not change anything – nothing changes, if nothing changes; or

• We can stay in the situation and seek to improve upon it; or

• We can elect to exit the situation – this is usually a last resort option. However, sometimes, this may be the only option.

4.  Emotionally Regulate – Do not immediately retaliate. Rather, step away before seeking to respond to any provocation. Emotional regulation is a core resilience principle and refers to our ability to “flexibly and productively manage ourselves.”[xlii] If we do not regulate our emotions, we can become overwhelmed by them which can impede our ability to think clearly. We need to build in space between what has occurred and how we might like to respond. This ability to delay our response mitigates regret.

Two emotional regulation skills are:

• Slow Down – try noticing and naming your responses and ask what triggered them – this provides the insight and space needed before formulating a response. Identify your physiological responses – if you are in a heightened state of arousal and do not have clarity, delay any response by taking some type of action that will give you some distance e.g., go for a walk (see more below); talk to a trusted friend; do some distracting task like deleting unwanted emails; washing your coffee cup; tidying your workspace.

• Cognitive Reappraisal – This allows for a tempered response. In reappraising, you are stepping back from your thoughts and emotions and challenging your initial reactions. Evaluate your options and what information you might need to determine the right response for you.

People who are more resilient “tend to explain setbacks as temporary, local and controllable.”[xliii] “How tolerable a situation feels grows out of our belief about whether we can do anything to escape it.”[xliv] The optimum bias is the expectation of a favourable outcome. Being optimistic is also a predictor of physical and psychological resilience.

5.     Identify your workplace policies and procedures in respect of Workplace Bullying – look on your intranet. If you can’t find them consider asking HR. Gather your information. What do they say? what does the Code of Conduct say?

6.     Decide What You Want to Do – You can choose to handle Workplace Bullying in whatever way makes you feel comfortable.[xlv]

7.     If You Decide to Try and improve Upon the Situation – what this looks like will be personal to you. For example:

• You might seek counsel from a colleague, an external friend or a psychologist before taking any action;

• If you feel safe to do so, you might try to calmly talk to the workplace bully in an assertive manner (definitely non-confrontational) requesting cessation of inappropriate behaviour. If they are unaware of the impact of their behaviour this could give them an opportunity to self-reflect and make necessary changes. If you didn’t want to approach the workplace bully on your own, you might consider your support options e.g., HR, Union Rep and so forth;

• You might seek to escalate the situation to your manager/supervisor (if they aren’t the workplace bully) or HR or Work Health Safety Rep or Union or whatever third party external authority has oversight in this type of area e.g., SafeWork NSW (Workplace bullying | SafeWork NSW); Fair Work Ombudsman (Bullying in the workplace - Fair Work Ombudsman); Australian Human Rights Commission (Bullying: Know Your Rights | Australian Human Rights Commission)

Note: It is important to document the offensive behaviour prior to any escalation. Keep a detailed contemporaneous log of all incidents, including the name of witnesses, date, nature and time of incident and so forth.

8. Give Yourself a Green or Blue Prescription – For example go for a walk. Our mental state alters when we change our physical environment.[xlvi] Our thinking in blue and green spaces becomes slower and calmer. When we immerse ourselves in nature, we experience an “attentional restoration effect” which denotes less physical and emotional distress.[xlvii]

9.     Maintain a Sustainable Exercise Routine – Try to incorporate not only walking but exercises that promote mindfulness like Tai Chi, Yoga, Pilates, Qigong and swimming.

10.  Eat Healthily and Regularly – If you are having difficulty eating, try smaller portions and softer foods – they are easier to swallow.

11.  Diversify Your Spaces – “remind yourself of the things you care about, and the other roles you play in life, besides the one at stake,”[xlviii] e.g., you might be a partner, parent, son/daughter, active community member and so forth.

12.  Service Making/Contribution – If you believe your spaces aren’t diversified, or even if they are, consider volunteering in a space that resonates with you. When we help others, we often help ourselves. We also tend to increase our happiness levels and develop a sense of mattering.

13.  Practice Self-compassion - “Compassion is the daily practice of recognising and accepting our shared humanity so that we treat ourselves and others with loving kindness, and we take action in the face of suffering.”[xlix]

Kristen Neff believes self-compassion has three core elements:

• “Self-kindness vs self-judgement – self-compassion entails being warm and understanding to ourselves when we suffer, fail or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. Self-compassionate people recognise that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties [are] inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals.

• Common humanity vs isolation – self-compassion involves recognising that suffering and personal inadequacy [are] part of the shared human experience – something we all go through rather than being something that happens to me alone.

• Mindfulness vs over-identification – Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to supress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be ‘over-identified’ with the thoughts and feelings so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity.”[l]

14.  Build in play and humour - Distress tolerance strategies won’t cure the situation but they do provide a breathing space to be better able to cope with whatever challenges
we face.

15.  Journal:

• Write about what you are experiencing - It is a helpful way to process emotions and experiences and have an outlet for the distress being a target and/or bystander can engender. It is also an ideal way to safely work through what your possible response options might be prior to selecting the response you believe is right for you;

• Remind yourself of your self-efficacy – Amy Morin suggests asking: “what evidence do I have that I can get through this?”[li] Remind yourself of other challenges you have faced and how you coped with them – how did you problem solve? What are your support systems like? This type of strategy can boost confidence and reduce self-pity and helplessness.[lii]

• Keep a gratitude journal – what and/or who are you grateful for? Each day write down at least one thing you are grateful for.[liii] This could include things like clean water to drink, fresh air to breathe, the majesty and awe of nature, your friends and family. Sometimes when we feel low, identifying what we are grateful for might be difficult to do. If you are having difficulty, asking others what they are grateful for can be helpful and remind you of aspects of your life that you are grateful for.[liv] The benefits of keeping a gratitude journal are numerous and include experiencing positive emotion, joy and increased energy levels as well as a greater propensity for compassion and forgiveness.[lv]

• Start a values journal – This will help elevate your mindset and allow you to express what is important and meaningful to you right now. Research has shown that writing in this way reduces rumination, generates mental strength, increases a sense of control, makes us more loving, more empathic and more connected to others. It builds a self-efficacy mindset that “Cohen and Sherman called …a ‘narrative of personal adequacy.’”[lvi]

Reflecting and writing about your values can transform how you think about stressful experiences and your ability to cope with them. When we are connected to our values, we believe in our self-efficacy and are more likely to draw on support and take positive action to address the challenges we face instead of using avoidant coping strategies like denial or procrastination.

If one looks at Workplace Bullying, for example, as a temporary challenge, one is more likely to see meaning in difficult circumstances.[lvii]

Exercise to try:

Identify your values select 3 that are most important to you. Then pick one and write about it for 10 minutes. Identify why this particular value is important to you. How do you express this value in your everyday life? If you need to make an important decision, how might this value guide you? You can continue the exercise in another 10 minute session with the other 2 nominated values.[lviii]

Some Examples of Values:

The following are not exhaustive:

• Acceptance

• Excellence

• Leadership

• Accountability

• Fairness

• Life Long Learner

• Adventure

• Family

• Loyalty

• Humour

• Self-reliance

• Discipline

• Generosity

• Mindfulness

• Commitment

• Hardworking

• Patient

• Courage

• Helping Others

• Positive Influence

• Curiosity

• Independence

• Trustworthy

• Collaboration

• Best possible self – to increase your sense of optimism when you’re not feeling it, try this exercise:

Exercise: pick a future time frame perhaps fifteen years* from now. Imagine yourself, in fifteen years, when everything has gone right: You’re with a loving partner, if that’s something you want; you have the career you’ve been working towards; you’re living in the part of town you’ve always loved most; you’re not being bullied and so forth. Then spend 10 minutes writing about this future. How do you spend your time? What friends or family do you see most? What does it feel like?

Research has shown that this exercise improves not only one’s optimism but also one’s physical health.[lix]

*You can try a different time frame that suits you

16.  Avoid unhelpful coping mechanisms – e.g., alcohol and/or drugs and limit caffeine intake

17.  Practice good sleep hygiene – wherever possible try to get sufficient sleep

Helpful Strategies for Workplace Bullies

These include but are not limited to:

1.     Counselling – This is a process that the workplace bully must want to engage in for it to be effective. This means that there needs to be recognition that their behaviour is unacceptable and that they want to do something about that.

2.     Professional Development and Mentoring Programs – Again the workplace bully must want to participate in this and the programs should include fostering positive character skills development. Participating in the programs as a tick a box exercise won’t work.

3.     Anti – bullying and Anger management training

4. Disciplinary and Progress Checking in Workplace Meetings – this would hold not only the workplace bully but also the organisation accountable.

Conclusion

No matter how it presents and whether it is peer to peer, worker to supervisor/manager or supervisor/manager to worker, Workplace Bullying is not ok. Its detrimental effects are well documented and can have long-term impact. It takes courage to address Workplace Bullying but if and how you elect to do that is a matter for you. At all times though, your safety and wellbeing are paramount. Drawing on appropriate support, practicing self-care, self-compassion and employing any of the other strategies mentioned above that resonate with you, should allow for better navigation of the challenge that Workplace Bullying is.

______________________________________

References

[i] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009). Bullies Grow Up and Go to Work. Journal of professional counselling: Practice, Theory, and Research Vol. 37, No.2. pg 34 - 51
[ii] Magnuson,S and Norem, K. (2009); Sanderson, K. (2023) Re-positioning workplace aggression interventions: a violence framework. International Journal of Organizational Analysis Vol. 31 No. 5, pp. 1582-1600
[iii] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009). Bullies Grow Up and Go to Work. Journal of professional counselling: Practice, Theory, and Research Vol. 37, No.2. pg 40 citing Vickers, M. H. (2006). Writing what’s relevant: Workplace incivility in public administration -- A wolf in sheep’s clothing. Administrative Theory & Praxis, 28, 69-88[iv] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009).
[v] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009).
[vi] Magnuson,S and Norem, K. (2009).citing Dellasega, C. (2005). Mean girls grown up: Adult women who are still queen bees, middle bees, and afraid-to-bees. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley
[vii] Magnuson, s and Norem, K. (2009).
[viii] ibid
[ix] www.fairwork,gov.au; www.safework.nsw.gov.au
[x] www.safework.nsw.gov.au
[xi]. Coloroso, B. (2006). The bully, the bullied, and the bystander. Toronto, Ontario: HarperCollins cited in Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009).
[xii] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009)
[xiii] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009)
[xiv] Brown, B (2021). Atlas of the Heart. Vermillion. London
[xv] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009)
[xvi] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009) citing Keashly, L. (2001). Interpersonal and systemic aspects of emotional abuse at work: The target’s perspective. Violence and Victims, 16(3), 233-268
[xvii] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009)
[xviii] Ibid citing Jeffrey, L. R. (2004). Bullying bystanders. The Prevention Researcher, 11(3), 7-8.
[xix] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009)
[xx] ibid
[xxi] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009); citing Jeffrey, L. R. (2004). Bullying bystanders. The Prevention Researcher, 11(3), 7-8.
[xxii] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009); Grant, A. (2023). Hidden Potential. WH Allen.
[xxiii] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009).
[xxiv] Magnuson, S and Norem, K. (2009) citing Rigby, K. (2008). Children and bullying: How parents and educators can reduce bullying at school. Victoria, Australia: Blackwell Publishing.
[xxv] Sanderson, K. (2023) Re-positioning workplace aggression interventions: a violence framework. International Journal of Organizational Analysis Vol. 31 No. 5, pp. 1582-1600; Coercive control and the law | NSW Government; What are the signs of coercive control?
[xxvi] Sanderson, K. (2023)
[xxvii] ibid
[xxviii] ibid
[xxix] ibid
[xxx] Klass, B. (2021). Corruptible. John Murry.
[xxxi] Klass, B. (2021).pg 51
[xxxii] Klass, B. (2021).pg 59
[xxxiii] Sanderson, K. (2023).
[xxxiv] Cleary, M, PhD, RN; Hunt, G, Ph D, BA: Walter, G, Ph D, MB BS, BMedSc, FRANZCP; Robertson, M, PhD, MBBS (Hons.), FRANZCP. (2009). Dealing with Bullying in the Workplace. Journal of Psychosocial Nursing • Vol. 47, No. 12 pg 34 - 41
[xxxv] ibid
[xxxvi] Sanderson, K. (2023)
[xxxvii] ibid
[xxxviii] ibid
[xxxix] ibid
[xl] ibid
[xli] Morin, A (2017). 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t D0. William Morrow (Harper Collins)
[xlii] Rosen Kellerman, G and Seligman, M (2023). Tomorrowmind. Nicholas Brackley Publishing. London. Boston.
[xliii] Ibid pg 69
[xliv] Ibid pg 70
[xlv] www.fairwork.gov.au
[xlvi] Epel, E PhD (2022). The Seven-Day Stress Prescription. Penguin Life pp 122
[xlvii] Ibid pp 123.
[xlviii] Ibid – pp79
[xlix] Brown, B (2021)
[l] Ibid pp 138-139
[li] Morin, A (2017).pp 26
[lii] Ibid 26
[liii] Ibid pp 29
[liv] Ibid pp 29
[lv] Ibid pp 31
[lvi] McGonigal, K., PhD. (2015) The Upside of Stress. Avery (Penguin Random House) NY
[lvii] ibid
[lviii] ibid
[lix] Rosen Kellerman, G and Seligman, M (2023) pp70-71